Comments on: Per ardua not quite ad astra http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/2010/02/08/per-ardua-not-quite-ad-astra/ Surviving the past one day at a time Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:24:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Old Midhurstian http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/2010/02/08/per-ardua-not-quite-ad-astra/comment-page-1/#comment-320 Old Midhurstian Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:40:25 +0000 http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/?p=1173#comment-320 Scottie That's a what if I also enjoy and have no worries over :) You make an an interesting point there and that's how I sometimes feel myself. When I started work on my book and dealing with some very heavily repressed memories it did feel like childhood and as I'm in the process of going to University at last the adult teenager concept does make a great deal of sense. In many ways I never really "grew up" and find the behaviour of most of my own age group horribly old. Having support now when I had none in those early years means that I can be free to be myself in a way I never could then. It's all quite exciting! You also touch on a very big question which all hinges on the first what if of all, what if I'd told my Mother I was being molested? Had I done that it's likely that none of my life to date would have happend and I've have followed a very different path, the thing is that I wouldn't have met Gary and that doesn't bear thinking about. I'm very happy to have you as a friend Love Mac Scottie
That’s a what if I also enjoy and have no worries over :)
You make an an interesting point there and that’s how I sometimes feel myself. When I started work on my book and dealing with some very heavily repressed memories it did feel like childhood and as I’m in the process of going to University at last the adult teenager concept does make a great deal of sense. In many ways I never really “grew up” and find the behaviour of most of my own age group horribly old. Having support now when I had none in those early years means that I can be free to be myself in a way I never could then. It’s all quite exciting!

You also touch on a very big question which all hinges on the first what if of all, what if I’d told my Mother I was being molested? Had I done that it’s likely that none of my life to date would have happend and I’ve have followed a very different path, the thing is that I wouldn’t have met Gary and that doesn’t bear thinking about.

I’m very happy to have you as a friend
Love
Mac

]]> By: Scottie http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/2010/02/08/per-ardua-not-quite-ad-astra/comment-page-1/#comment-319 Scottie Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:09:28 +0000 http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/?p=1173#comment-319 The what ifs are disturbing, but thankfully for me, I have reached a point where I like who and what am. If I had been raised by my real dad I would not have had the abuse, but also may not have met and lived so long with Ron. Now maybe the universe would have still brought us together, but I wouldn't want to take that chance. So I don't worry about the what ifs anymore. The only what if I get caught on is what if we do @@@@@ when he gets home from work. Starting over, going to school and going into a field I know nothing about had no fear this time, only excitement. The thrill of seeing Ron so happy with what I was doing was the support I never had as a child. So maybe I am living my childhood now? Wow, I never thought of that until I typed it. Maybe I should think on that, am I living as an adult teenager now? Bye Mac, have to go think. Thanks for everything. Oh yes, I would love your thoughts also. A friend always, Scottie The what ifs are disturbing, but thankfully for me, I have reached a point where I like who and what am. If I had been raised by my real dad I would not have had the abuse, but also may not have met and lived so long with Ron. Now maybe the universe would have still brought us together, but I wouldn’t want to take that chance. So I don’t worry about the what ifs anymore. The only what if I get caught on is what if we do @@@@@ when he gets home from work.

Starting over, going to school and going into a field I know nothing about had no fear this time, only excitement. The thrill of seeing Ron so happy with what I was doing was the support I never had as a child. So maybe I am living my childhood now? Wow, I never thought of that until I typed it. Maybe I should think on that, am I living as an adult teenager now?

Bye Mac, have to go think. Thanks for everything. Oh yes, I would love your thoughts also.

A friend always,
Scottie

]]> By: Old Midhurstian http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/2010/02/08/per-ardua-not-quite-ad-astra/comment-page-1/#comment-317 Old Midhurstian Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:17:17 +0000 http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/?p=1173#comment-317 It is a strange place indeed and the directions we end up going in are sometimes even stranger. These things take me back but I have to be careful of getting stuck in a "what if?" loop Love Mac It is a strange place indeed and the directions we end up going in are sometimes even stranger. These things take me back but I have to be careful of getting stuck in a “what if?” loop

Love
Mac

]]> By: Scottie http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/2010/02/08/per-ardua-not-quite-ad-astra/comment-page-1/#comment-316 Scottie Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:13:20 +0000 http://www.oldmidhurstian.co.uk/?p=1173#comment-316 The universe is a strange place, and often our best plans go not as we plan but in a different direction. Takes us back when it happens doesn't it? Best wishes, Scottie The universe is a strange place, and often our best plans go not as we plan but in a different direction.

Takes us back when it happens doesn’t it?

Best wishes,
Scottie

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