Seeing all the Valentine’s stuff flying around at the moment makes me wonder why I can’t get into it myself. Part of it comes from childhood of course, never a popular boy with either boys or girls I never got a Valentine from anyone. Feeling sorry for me, worrying that I was becoming isolated and developing a poor self image my Mum actually stooped to making one up and signing it “A secret admirer”. That didn’t work of course, I saw through the deception in seconds but pretended I hadn’t so as not to spoil it for her.
Even when I surprised and confused myself at 14 by being the first boy in my form to get a girlfriend we didn’t go in for all that stuff but then in that mawkish teenage way we were always saying “I love you”. I was developing a huge guilt complex anyway because I knew deep down that I was using her as camouflage. About the only thing I didn’t do was actually have a relationship with a boy at the same as being her boyfriend, I figured that getting done by men in public toilets wasn’t really cheating as there was no emotional attachment. Amazing the things you can rationalise isn’t it?
What really puts me off though is the need to have a “lovers” day in the first place. I tell Gary every day that I love him and I mean it with every little part of me, I just don’t need a special day to say it.
Having said all that if you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day then have a great one and don’t let a cynical neurotic spoil it for you.
Love
Valentines has never ever meant anything for me either. I guess that might have made some persons disappointed in me. Sorry for that!
Cynical and neurotic? Most likely. Still I consider valentines a commercial stunt, and as that I can totally do without it.
I doesn’t in any way mean I don’t love someone, I just don’t need a specific day to show it. Or little heart-shaped sweets to buy.
Love
Daniel
Thank you, Daniel. It’s nice to know I’m in good company.
Love
Mac
I agree with you, Mac. Tell the one you love that you love them every day, not just once a year with card and chocolates. it seems all too phony to me, this Valentine’s stuff.
That’s really all it takes isn’t it? Thanks Bob
I did get Velentines cards as a teenager – twice and off two different people. I always understood it was for folk who were NOT in a relationship and wanted to be (or at least the one sending the card did). It could be sent because there was a religious or cultural problem, that the parents of one (or both!) forbade it (Romeo and Juliet?) or it could be appropriate because the one thought the other didn’t know of their love.
In the case of the first Valentine card I received it started a relationship with a girl I didn’t know was at all interested. She sent me the card then, when I started asking friends to speak to girls they knew to find out who it was from (remember we were at single gender schools) she ‘found’ me at a bus stop one day. There followed an eighteen month ‘romance’. But there was no sex. Firstly it was really quite strictly a ‘No No’ by parents and secondly she was much too sensible – and frightened.
So I think the day has its point but it only affects Lovers – not those in existing relationships like you guys or Pete and me. Oh and yeah, we tell each other at least once a day that we love each other.
Sex with a girl? The very idea! It did happen eventually, I was seduced by a female physiotherapist at the age of 23 but my mind wasn’t exactly on what I was doing
That’s a fair point about it being for singles and that’s what I really hate about the way it’s developed, people ask me “did you give Gary a Valentine?” to which the answer is usually “now why the hell would I do that?” or something even more profane. Deep down I suspect that I’m just a disaffected misery who doesn’t really like any of these made up days. Come to that I don’t really like Christmas either but that’s down to a big falling out with god for not helping me when I was 10, I really do know how to hold a grudge.