While we were enjoying our evening free time one evening the 2 boys I was sharing with tentatively asked if I’d be offended if they had girls in our room, after lights out. This was, of course, the ultimate offence and being found out would mean instant dismissal from the centre, a report to school and another one to parents.
However, objecting or threatening to snitch would have brought all kinds of trouble so I merely said that it was fine as far as I was concerned. I could, after all, spend the night with my head under the pillow, something I did a lot at home anyway to make sure nobody could hear me crying.
The whole idea was incredibly risky, the corridors were patrolled at irregular intervals and members of staff were known to randomly open bedroom doors to ensure that nothing untoward was happening. I suppose that today this would be completely unacceptable but back in 1968 we simply accepted that this was how life worked.
So, some time after lights out I heard the door open very quietly and then close again. There were soft footsteps and whispered voices as the female interlopers located their targets in the dark and then I heard a whispered “he’s over near the door”.
Shit, I was over near the door! I lay frozen with terror and very much aware that I was completely naked with only a sheet between me and the world. Somebody started clambering onto my bed and then, to my astonishment, my girlfriend’s voice whispered “hello” in my ear.
I was in heaven, right? Absolutely wrong, I was in hell! Scared out of my mind by the possibility of discovery and completely unaware of what I should be doing I just lay rigid, except for that, and prayed silently for it all to stop.
She sighed in exasperation and hauled my arms out from under the sheets so that we could at least cuddle and I discovered that apart from the sheet, the only thing between me and a naked female was a very small nightie. I’d never been so utterly stumped for a response.
Being discovered in delecto flagrante like this would get me sent home immediately and while school, obsessed with being progressive, wouldn’t say very much beyond a form punishment, my parents would invent a whole new punishment to deal with the situation probably involving fire and iron.
I kept finding my hands being put in places I didn’t want them to go and the whole situation got so scary and beyond my control that I started crying. Instead of making her leave in disgust that just increased the urgency of her attempts to get in bed with me. Finally accepting that things weren’t going any further she settled for a long kiss.
That was, without doubt, the worst night of my life and it was a huge relief when the other girls announced that it was time to get back to their wing. Giving me a brief final kiss, the girl I thought I loved left and I was alone to weep myself quietly to sleep.
I felt utterly humiliated and inadequate and I understood, beyond any question, that my feelings for my girlfriend were exclusively spiritual and romantic. As far as I was concerned I knew what sex was about and what had nearly happened wasn’t the way it would ever work for me.
Neither of the other boys was crass enough to actually question me about the night’s events although I got some pretty odd looks. I fully expected to find that I was single by breakfast but the greeting and its accompanying kiss were as intense as ever so perhaps I hadn’t made such an ass of myself after all.
Perhaps boys did have the right to say no, I wished I’d thought of that 5 years before.
Love
Boys’ stories are full of naughty goings on after lights out!
I bet she was just as anxious about the whole escapade as you were.
Still, for one not as insular as you were it might have been nice to find out that things were still OK over the bacon eggs the following morning.
Yeah, not the kind of goings on I’d ever imagined!
I’ve no doubt that she was every bit as anxious, she was just so bloody determined.
It was a relief in the morning but the relationship changed from that day on, I think she started to suspect a few things about her chosen.
Love
Malcolm
Hello Mac. I agree with Micky, no telling the pressure she felt she was under and she may have been very relieved by your response. Plus showing your more tender side allowed her to be even more in love and caring for you.
I can understand the other side of what you wrote, I have had unwanted partners enter my bed and the whole thing makes my blood freeze, the memory to replay the humiliations and what ifs. Like your thought about five years earlier, saying no was not an option that worked or had any power. This night could have been so much worse for you, like being discovered or even being forced to engage in an activity you would hate your self for and so would she later.
Hugs and loves.
Scottie
Scottie
Although we never discussed the event in detail you and Micky are probably right. The whole thing was a bad idea and I suspect that she was swept along by peer pressure.
What was beyond doubt though was my parents reaction if things had gone wrong or we’d been discovered. She was the sweet innocent girl and obviously I was the dirty minded teenage boy pressing her to have sex. My parents rarely let the truth interfere with an opportunity to punish me.
Love
Mac