I was amused to read on the BBC website that there is concern in Wales over the fact that women teachers outnumber men by a ratio of three to one. I’m actually astonished, in these paranoid times that any man who values reputation and liberty would even contemplate a career in teaching.
To illustrate my point I’d like to tell you about the relationship I had with my Music Master from the first week of Grammar school until I left in 1971. I invite you to consider how this relationship would be viewed today.
As soon as JB (my Music Master) realised that I had genuine potential he began giving me informal one to one tuition during breaks and lunchtimes. I’d meet him in the school hall and he’d play the Steinway Grand while I practiced my singing. Anyone who had proper vocal training as a child will know that it’s a very ‘hands on’ process as tightening the abdominal muscles while singing isn’t a natural action; it has to be taught and involves physical contact.
When I was twelve I decided to write a descant for a well known Christmas carol and after a lot of scribbled out pages in my manuscript book finally had what I thought was a decent effort so I asked for a private session to discuss it rather than have the rest of the Form giving me a hard time. JB played it through while I sang the carol in its original form and then he spent half an hour explaining to me just how much was wrong with it. All of the criticism was completely constructive and he made sure that I understood where I’d broken accepted rules on chordal progression and why it just simply didn’t work. He also went out of his way to praise me for having the courage to write the piece in the first place.
When I was thirteen JB gave me, as a personal gift, a copy of the Oxford Companion to Music which is the musical equivalent of the OED; it’s an essential reference work for anyone studying Music theory and history. I didn’t know what that tome cost and would never have been so crass as to ask but it certainly wasn’t cheap.
Once I started learning to play the organ, when I was fourteen a significant number of my music lessons were spent with just JB and I in the organ loft of the otherwise deserted Midhurst Parish church. I was too short to reach the pedal board in those days so I’d concentrate on the three keyboards while JB played the pedals; once again physical contact was inevitable.
Just after I finished my mock O Levels JB invited me to a piano recital by Ashkenazy at Brighton pavilion; it was a post exam treat and nothing to do with school at all. I had tea at his house before he drove us to Brighton and after the concert he delivered me back to Lurgashall. I got home just after midnight on a school night and fell asleep while telling my parents what a fantastic concert it had been.
While I was in Lower Sixth Form JB invited me to another concert; this time to hear Itzhak Perlman. Again it was just the two of us and it was a completely unofficial and private event.
Neither of those concerts cost me a penny and on both occasions we had very expensive seats so that we could get the best of the acoustics and a good view of the performers.
I can only imagine how a teacher lavishing such attention on a single pupil would be viewed now but I can assure you that despite a plethora of opportunities no inappropriate behaviour occurred. if JB ever had any designs in that direction, which I don’t believe for a moment he did, he was clearly too reticent to pursue things.
Love
You’re right–nowadays that wouldn’t go over at all. What a shame. You were lucky to have had a teacher like that.
I hope all is well.
Sending love, SB.
Hey, SB all is well at the moment. It’s a pity that everyone wants to draw the worst possible conclusion these days. I consider my self to have been very lucky in having a teacher like that
Love
Mac
What you say about males not wanting to have any contact with their students and being worried about being accused is so true. It also is hurting the development of our youth. Fear of adult males is being taught and any contact is suspect. In boarding school I struggled hard with lessens and with my past. I had several male teachers who could do the comfort and hug and hold, but only one male teacher who would do what I needed, let me let my anger out. He would go to the common room and move the furniture back out of the way and let me “act out” in a constructive way. ( I was small and easily handled so he could assure our safely ) He would wrestle me until I was spent and could finally get some sleep which was so often denied me. I adored him then and now for understanding I had to some way to get rid of that built up anger. Today he would be accused of some thing treacherous, if not lecherous, I am sure. And again our youth have lost something important.
Hugs and warm thoughts.
Scottie
I agree, I think kids are missing out on something important. Having someone like that, who understood that you had anger issues and needed to let go must have made a huge difference to you. The pastoral care of children, particularly in boarding school, used to be considered an essential part of a teacher’s job. Today it’s safer for a teacher to refer a child in that situation to a psychiatrist where they’ll probably be diagnosed with ADHD and just be put on Ritalin or similar so they don’t cause problems. So much easier than actually caring about a disturbed child. Very sad.
Love
Mac
I agree with all that has been said. The difference between then and now and the lengths to which teachers have to go to safeguard themselves! I would just put in a plea for the poor old teachers of yesteryear themselves. Who knows what JB and others like him might have gone through by way of temptation. If so, they exercised great self control. Their imaginations were never translated into action. Mind you I think some of the boys were sometimes knowingly and unknowingly provokative. I remember knowing myself to be quite safe in a public place going to the school tuck shop run by the geography teacher mentioned in a previous post after games wearing a pair of shorts which I had had to borrow from a much smaller boy. But maybe I am casting aspersions on all teachers and pupils. I certainly had some very selfless teachers as you clearly did. The music teacher at our school took an interest in the few boys who were talented in the direction (certainly not me!). He was organist at the Parish Church and I know of at least one who ended up in the choir.
That’s a very good point; who knows what was actually going through JB’s mind and a couple of other masters who went above and beyond normal teacher’s duties for me. If any of them had thoughts in those directions then they deserve a big pat on the back for not pursuing the idea.
I think I mentioned my First Form English master who followed his thoughts with deeds and disappeared from the school very quickly. It’s so easy to view all masters in the same light and I’m sure that the majority don’t deserve the label.
I hate to be sexist about this but I blame women for waging political war on the male gender. There has been – and still is – a climate in our country that child-care is a woman’s job.
For how long did they work to persuade men to let them into all sorts of work and the higher positions in companies? Now they’re kind of getting their own back by denying men access to child rearing by tarring all men as potential child abusers.
The only small crumb of comfort is that maybe people are just beginning to recognise some of the damage which is being done by such an attitude.
I think your comment is perfectly fair. My big sister was involved with the feminist movement in London and I did some PR work for her (she and her friends were really bad at slogans!). Some of the young women I met through her scared me half to death; they didn’t want equality they wanted dominance!
What upsets me is that children are being denied some very fine potential teachers because of the prevailing attitude. As you say, however it’s some comfort that people are beginning to realise the damage that’s been done.