A quick update: Should Leaving the Grey Room on Blogspot disappear for any reason I have a backup prepared at Leaving The Grey Room on WordPress. At the moment I’m keeping the WordPress version private to avoid duplication issues but it’s one mouse click away from being live. I owe that expression to my beloved [...]
Category Archive for 'Anger'
Why such an angry little boy?
Posted in Abuse, Anger, Childhood, Depression on Sep 18th, 2010
It was recently suggested in a comment that I seem to have been a somewhat difficult child, prone to temper tantrums. To a certain extent that’s true but isn’t entirely fair to my young self. I was, by nature quite a sweet tempered boy with a very lively sense of fun and a penchant for [...]
Checking I had my fags, lighter and wallet (contents a pound) I opened the window. Our house had almost been designed for this. Being the only boy in the family had predetermined that I’d get the smallest room and my window just happened to be directly above the front porch. Scrambling out onto the small [...]
Odd facts about Malcolm, nearly at number 21…
Posted in Anger, Mental Archaeology, School on Aug 3rd, 2010
My best friend and I had already organised a post exam 3 week cycling trip in the West Country, with a 2 or 3 day stop at my Nan’s included, so I didn’t have time to fret over the slow progress with the grant application. That holiday was quite an adventure itself so I’m not [...]
I’m back and feeling much better…
Posted in Anger, Depression, Pain on Apr 20th, 2010
Hello everyone, I’m feeling somewhat better having stopped taking one of the drugs that may have been causing problems. I’m not sleeping any better but that’s a small price to pay against suffering a level of depression bordering on the psychotic. I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who sent messages of [...]
In the slough of despond
Posted in Anger, Depression on Apr 17th, 2010
For those not in the know the title of this post is taken from “A Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan. I’m taking a couple of days off and probably won’t be posting before Tuesday, my chat client will be offline as well but I’ll have Outlook running so I can keep up with email. I’m [...]
Tears. My whole life seems to have been tears and if they all fell in one place I could drown continents. I cried when I was ten and a big hulking teenager hurt me so badly that he made me bleed. I cried almost every night after that until I reached the point, at the [...]
Even death has got complicated…
Posted in Anger, Death, Depression on Mar 12th, 2010
I probably won’t be posting anything until after Dad’s funeral next Wednesday. Everything has suddenly got a lot more complicated and I’m getting pretty depressed about the whole situation. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’d never forgive myself I’d abandon the whole idea of going. For a long time I’ve been angry about [...]
Carefully feeling my way through a minefield
Posted in Anger, Memories, Mental Archaeology, Still Bitter, Why? on Feb 6th, 2010
Stunned! Yes that’s a pretty good word to describe how I feel at the moment. Stunned and, in a strange way, relieved. I’ve yet to work out exactly why I built that wall but it was clearly intended to last a lifetime and for all it’s coming down is forcing me to re-evaluate my whole [...]
I’ve really made a breakthrough, why am I so unhappy about it?
Posted in Anger, Memories, Mental Archaeology on Feb 3rd, 2010
You might have felt a distinct lack of sympathy when I spoke of the punishment I suffered for swearing in front of my mother and to a certain extent I don’t blame you. I broke an absolute taboo when I used that word and had always known what the punishment would be although I’m still [...]
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